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Shirani M. Pathak teaches you how to have amazing relationships by doing one simple thing: dismantling supremacy’s internalized oppression and conditioning. Though it’s simple, it may not be easy. Tune in to learn how perfectionism, imposter syndrome, judgement, criticism, comparison (aka comparisonitis), fear of failure, inadequacy and the “not enoughs” hold you back from the amazing relationships you desire. In this podcast I‘m illuminating how what you‘re feeling is a result of what we’ve been programmed to believe living under supremacy culture’s systems of oppression, and offer solutions to help you heal from supremacy‘s sneaky conditioning. I cover topics of racism, relationships, emotional intelligence, relational intelligence, neuroscience, the nervous system, intergenerational trauma, epigenetics, spirituality, authentic leadership, alcoholism, addiction, abuse, violence and so much more. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and join me in my private newsletter community where I have a specially curated collection of tools to get started. Visit https://www.shiranimpathak.com/connect where the tools are waiting for you.
Episodes
Thursday Nov 17, 2022
S4E02 Boundaries: The Holiday Edition
Thursday Nov 17, 2022
Thursday Nov 17, 2022
Welcome to this enlightening podcast episode where we delve into the art of managing holiday stress and establishing healthy boundaries with family. Tune in to gain invaluable insights, practical tips, and effective strategies for maintaining your peace of mind during the festive season.
Discover expert advice on prioritizing self-care, navigating complex family dynamics, and making the most out of your holidays. Don't miss out on this must-listen episode that will equip you with the tools to thrive during this joyful time of year.
In today’s episode, we cover:
- Your boundaries are for you
- Clear is kind; Control is unkind
- What is and is not acceptable to you from you
- Judgment and compassion can coexist
- Catch yourself before it’s too late
Quotes
[00:03:24] If you are trying to set boundaries and hoping that other people will follow through with them and then getting resentful when they don't, do you know what you're doing? You're actually participating in supremacy culture’s sneaky behavior of control. That is what you're doing; you are trying to control another person and how they engage with you. You're trying to tell another person who to be in order to be in a relationship with you. And when you do that, you are putting yourself in a position of superiority, the other person in a position of inferiority. You are elevating yourself to the status of some holier than thou type and you are dehumanizing the person that you are in a relationship with.
[00:06:20] Clear is kind. It is kind for you to be clear with yourself about what your boundaries and your parameters are when you are considering how you're going to do the holidays. It's kind to be clear with yourself what you will and will not accept when it comes to this season. Even if that what you will and will not accept relates to what you will and will not accept from yourself. And it is also kind for you to very clearly communicate what it is that you need to others and then let go of any expectations or any outcomes, because when you hold on to expectations and outcomes you fall into the behavior of “control is unkind”. So, remember that - clear is kind; control is unkind. Especially when we are directing it outwards towards another person or another outcome or something outside of us, because the reality is we are not God and we're not in control of other people, places and things around us. We are not in control of how other people choose to show up.
Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Nov 03, 2022
S4E01 What Makes Change so Difficult
Thursday Nov 03, 2022
Thursday Nov 03, 2022
I am coming to you today as a retiring psychotherapist.
Being a relationship therapist has been my identity for a long time, but back in January of 2020 (we all know what happened in 2020) I decided to transition from being a relationship therapist into my coaching and consulting business full time.
This is a huge change, and change is hard. Why? The answer always comes down to the ways that we have internalized systems of supremacy and oppression. So, if you have been struggling with change, it is purely because of the systems under which we reside; the systems under which our brains, our bodies, our nervous systems have been programmed for millennia.
And in today’s episode, I am giving you the permission to change!
In today’s episode, we cover:
- Why I am retiring as a psychotherapist
- Making the decision to change and being fiercely authentic
- How supremacy culture is keeping us in status quo
- Why it’s so hard to change
- How to give yourself permission to change
Quotes
[00:11:49] Go ahead and, if that feels right to you, just turn inwards for a moment and see - is there something that has been on your heart, that every time you close your eyes, you see a certain vision and you not been giving yourself permission to go there? Have you been withholding that permission? Or have you been denying yourself that which is truly on your heart, that which you truly desire?
[00:13:39] Why is it that supremacy culture has made it such that we deny that which we truly desire, that we don't give ourselves permission, that we withhold what it is that we really want? And well, the answer to that is, because it wants you to stay in the status quo.
[00:19:20] Fear and shame - those are the two biggest things that supremacy culture uses to oppress us. And what do each of those do? They often keep us stuck and frozen, especially shame - it keeps us small; it keeps us hidden, and it keeps us not wanting to be seen.
[00:19:51] This isn't even about me. There's no lack in me. There's nothing wrong with me that it is so hard for me to make change. This is literally the way the system is designed.
[00:20:02] When you remove the element of shame, what ends up happening is, because shame isn't shutting you down, you end up being better able to make micro actions and take steps towards that change that you are aspiring to make.
Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Jun 02, 2022
S3E32 Don’t be Selfish - Season Finale
Thursday Jun 02, 2022
Thursday Jun 02, 2022
As we're wrapping up season 3 of the Fierce Authenticity podcast and celebrating our 2 year anniversary/birthday I'm coming to you with a heart that's holding space for the entire depth and breadth of the human experience.
In this episode I share about how the murder of brother George Floyd is what led me to finally start this podcast 2 years ago, and that in 2 years we're still facing the senseless loss of lives, citing the Buffalo, New York shooting as the most recent example.
Then, just a few hours after I finished recording this episode I learned of yet another preventable horrific massacre - this one of 19 babies and 2 teachers at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, TX.
Though there is celebration in this episode, there is a serious call for you to stop being selfish and keeping the medicine we speak about here to yourself.
At just about 5500 downloads of the podcast over the last 2 years, I'm both celebrating AND I know we can do better.
7 billion+ suffering people on this planet and 5500 downloads of the potent medicine offered here on the podcast… there seems to be something amiss here if you catch my drift.
When you keep what you hear here to yourself and don't share these episodes with others, you're doing yourself, your loved ones, and the entire world a disservice.
This episode is both a celebration and a plea, let's get the message of Fierce Authenticity™️out to more of those 7 billion people for whom this podcast is the exact medicine that they need.
Rate, review, screenshot and share the podcast, your favorite episodes, and even the episodes that pissed you off. Tag me, let's grow this community.
Together as a collective we have work to do.
With that, our 3rd season ends and we'll be back in the Fall.
In the meantime, come join me on Instagram @shiranimpathak where we'll be having "summer school" while the podcast is on break for the summer. Weekly we're doing Meditate with Me sessions Live on IG.
Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday May 26, 2022
S3E31 You are the Medicine with guest Asha Frost
Thursday May 26, 2022
Thursday May 26, 2022
I am so excited to introduce you to today's guest, Indigenous medicine woman and best-selling author of the book You Are the Medicine, Asha Frost. Our conversation was filled with such potent and powerful medicine, yet it is so sweet and gentle and nourishing in nature at the same time. That’s simply the energy that Asha brings to the work that she does, and how she helps us return to ourselves and be in relationship with ourselves and others. We explore everything from:
- tokenization and how there's this very somatic feeling of tokenization that she experiences to how absolutely damaging it is,
- how we can be conscious and intentional in the work that we're doing, in the spaces that we're creating,
- how we're showing up in spaces
- and of course, we also address trauma.
Asha Frost (she/her) is an Indigenous Ojibwe Medicine Person, mentor, space holder and seer. Her life's work is to help you connect to the medicine that has always been within you. The spark, the illumination, the power is all there waiting to be seen, felt and claimed. Asha is an enrolled member of the Cape Croker First Nation. She is an Anishinaabe medicine woman, spiritual mentor, ceremonial speaker, and best-selling author who believes wholeheartedly in the power within to heal our bodies, our spirits and our lives. As Wiida'adoon Aanimkikaa (she who walks with the Thunderbirds), she is able to clearly see one's presence, power and medicine, and invites people deeper into their wise knowing. As a member of the Crane Clan, her facilitation style empowers, uplifts and inspires with grace and deep love, which my friend is exactly what you are going to feel when you tune in to this conversation. For 18 years, Asha has practiced as a homeopath, medicine healer and soul seer. She is the best-selling author of You Are the Medicine published by Hay House and her Oracle deck will be released next year in 2023.
Tune in to the full episode to hear more.
Connect with Asha:
@asha.frost https://www.instagram.com/asha.frost
Website https://ashafrost.com/
Book You are the Medicine https://amzn.to/3MwAyhP
Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday May 19, 2022
S3E30 A Big Huge F* You to Supremacy
Thursday May 19, 2022
Thursday May 19, 2022
I want to get really honest and really vulnerable with you today because that’s what Fierce Authenticity is all about. It’s about being in our wholeness and sharing openly, intimately and vulnerably.
In today’s episode I walk you through my “failure” with launching my new signature offer The Sanctuary, which in reality turned out to be a huge success. I share with you all the lessons I learned along the way and how supremacy conditioning tries to creep into our lives in the most sneaky and insidious ways.
In today’s episode, we cover:
- Allowing yourself to experience sadness
- Why do we gaslight ourselves
- Hidden lesson that supremacy can teach us
- Freeze-Fight-Flight-Fawn response
- The importance of community in fighting supremacy
Resources mentioned:
Quotes
[00:07:00] I just got into that place where I was completely gaslighting my own feelings, gaslighting the feeling of sadness, gaslighting the feeling of disappointment, and I was trying to make myself wrong. And not that I was trying to make myself, I actually was making myself wrong to be experiencing these feelings.
[00:15:28] Supremacy culture has taught us, especially us high-achieving, bad-ass, over-functioning women and femmes, that we are only valuable and worthy based on what we can do, based on what we can achieve. And so without even knowing it, that starts to operate on a super sneaky fu*king unconscious level. And it impacts our brains, our bodies, and then our behaviors and how we start to act in the world.
[00:25:31] I want you to know how important it is that we learn to see and identify the ways supremacy culture shows up within us and in our relationships and develop the skills that we need, in order to be able to see it, to spot it, to work through it so that when it arises, we can spot it, we can catch it, and we can course-correct it.
[00:27:41] This is some sneaky f*cking insidious sh*t that we're dealing with. And this is why we need to do this work in community, this is why we need to do this work with others who can see the patterns, who can spot it and help you to shift from it so that you can dismantle it within yourself, so that you don't continue to go out there and replicate these patterns in all of the amazing work that you're doing and the powerful, beautiful life that you're living.
Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
Shirani on PayPal
*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.
Thursday May 12, 2022
S3E29 Intimacy: Into-Me–You-See
Thursday May 12, 2022
Thursday May 12, 2022
I used to be terrified of intimacy.
I'm not talking about intimacy in that sexual kind of way; I am talking about that very deep, deep level of knowing yourself and another person. I was terrified of letting people see me and know me as who I actually am, who I truly am, me as my fiercely authentic self.
In today’s episode, we are talking about intimacy as the antidote to supremacy. I truly believe that intimacy is supremacy's kryptonite that is going to truly get at the root of supremacy culture. So, join me today to learn how supremacy culture has embedded into us the fear of intimacy and what you can do to break free.
In today’s episode, we cover:
- Intimacy aka Into-Me-You-See
- Supremacy’s conditioning around intimacy
- Putting up insta-wall out of fear
- Why we feel that intimacy is dangerous
- How to break free of our fear of intimacy
Resources mentioned:
Quotes
[00:02:52] Because when the oppressor isn't out there, we end up doing it to ourselves. That's how the system continues to perpetuate itself, because we do it to ourselves and then we do it to our loved ones. So, it really hasn't gone anywhere in the world, it's just changing form and continuing to be transmitted from person to person, and therefore continues to create the world that's all fu*ked up, that we see today.
[00:07:54] Supremacy's conditioning wants us to stay disconnected from ourselves, from Source, from each other. And when we go into this space of disconnection, what ends up happening is we lose touch with our humanity, and the humanity of the people around us.
[00:11:30] This is one of the things supremacy culture has embedded into us, that we can't allow ourselves to be intimate and to be in these intimate relationships with ourselves or with Source or with another person. Because then there's a risk, there's a threat, like there's danger that will come upon us.
[00:21:43] We don't allow intimacy with ourselves either because it is terrifying, to open ourselves up to truly being seen, to truly being known, to truly being understood, to truly being received. And yet that is the very thing that we desire most. And that is the very thing that we crave as human beings. And that is the very thing that is essential to our survival.
Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
Shirani on PayPal
*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.
Thursday May 05, 2022
S3E28 The Strong Woman Syndrome with Taccarra Renee
Thursday May 05, 2022
Thursday May 05, 2022
Are you the type of woman who feels like she has to have it all together, all the time, otherwise she feels like a complete failure? If your answer is “yes”, you might suffer from the Strong Woman Syndrome.
In today’s episode, I am joined by Taccarra Renee to dive deeper into this topic and so much more!
Taccarra is a speaker, strategist, soon-to-be author and coach, who has made it her goal to help the high-achieving, strong woman live her most authentic life outside of the workspace. She believes that for far too long, women have been told that following the formula of going to school - getting good grades - getting a job = a successful life. Unfortunately, this formula has left many women unfulfilled and lacking critical knowledge. Taccarra bridges this gap by discussing all of the things that she wishes she had known surrounding self, relationships, money and careers on her weekly podcast, A Letter to My Sister. Taccarra pulls from her unique life experiences of being a military child turned military member and nurse to take clients through her dream and core frameworks, both of which we will be diving into today, to assist the strong woman in creating the life that she desires
In today’s episode, we cover:
- How stress and emotions affect our health
- Spreading ourselves too thin
- The Strong Woman Syndrome
- Taccarra’s D.R.E.A.M. and C.O.R.E. framework
- Changing the DNA for generations to come
Resources mentioned:
- Connect with Taccarra on Instagram and Facebook
- Taccarra’s Free Journaling Exercise
- Taccarra’s podcast A Letter to My Sister
- Deadly Emotions: Understand the Mind-Body-Spirit Connection That Can Heal or Destroy You by Don Colbert
Quotes
[00:11:20] As women, we're not allowed to express our feelings and emotions. we just have to be happy and pleasing and joyful and do whatever anyone wants, and do it with a smile on our face. That's just what stereotypically we're taught.
[00:26:00] We have to allow ourselves to dream and not be so logical about it. We're so logical that we'll talk ourselves out of our own dream before we can get it out on paper.
[00:23:48] Smiling, being free, being authentic, being playful, being feminine…once you have started to take care of “me”, that brings a totally different energy that will pull other people to you.]
[00:43:00] But really, it’s in our softness, in our femininity, in our ability to connect with others, that is where our strength resides.
Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
Shirani on PayPal
*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.
Thursday Apr 28, 2022
S3E27 Your Relationship Sucks. Here’s Why.
Thursday Apr 28, 2022
Thursday Apr 28, 2022
Your relationship sucks. Yes, you read that right. Your relationship sucks and here’s why.
We have been taught lies about who we are and who other people are. We think that we're these horrible, awful, terrible people. And because we think that we're horrible, awful, terrible people, we think others must be horrible, terrible, horrible, awful people too.
The system was designed in a way that does not foster intimacy, connection, communication and love, because the moment that we reconnect with love, all those shields, all those veils, all of those illusions disappear and the barrier of separation will no longer exist. And when that no longer exists, the system collapses and falls.
In today’s episode, we cover:
- Lies about relationships that supremacy culture has taught us
- Why you believe that there is something wrong with you
- You’re a child of the universe, it’s time you embrace it
- How to reconnect with love and expand your heart
- You do not have to do it perfectly, but you have to do it
Quotes
[00:01:53] We think that we're horrible, terrible, awful people, and so therefore we think other people must be horrible, terrible, awful people, what happens? We start to defend ourselves against any potential attack. But first, we prepare to attack.
[00:05:43] Living under systems of supremacy, living under systems of oppression for the last five to six millennia have led us to believe, first of all, that we have to attack and defend; and second of all, that there must be something wrong with us.
[00:08:23] Our brains, our bodies and our behavior on an unconscious level, reflects a very deeply, deeply seated belief that there is something wrong with you, and that you're a horrible, terrible, awful person. And the more you spin around and around in this cycle, and the longer you spin around and around in that cycle, you begin to forget who you truly are. And you begin to forget whose you truly are.
[00:11:58] The system was designed in a way that does not foster intimacy and connection and communication and love, because the moment that we reconnect with love, all those shields, all those veils, all of those illusions, stories that we've created, the dances that we've been dancing in our heads that are no win situations, all of those disappear. And the barrier of separation will no longer exist.
[00:16:15] When you stand fully rooted, fully anchored, and grounded in the energy of love, you remind other people who they are. You remind other people that they, too, are loved, and then their illusions vanish. And now there's two of you in that energy, and the two of you go out and interact with others, who then interact with others, who then interact with others, and exponentially this ripples out. And that is exactly what we do here through the practices of Fierce Authenticity.
Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
Shirani on PayPal
*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.