Fierce Authenticity

S3E12 How to Prioritize Your Relationships

If your relationships are not prioritized in the order of Source, self, spouse, then others, then this episode is for you. 

We place so many burdens on our relationships. We put people in roles where they don't belong and we put ourselves into roles where we don't belong. We do this because supremacy culture has disconnected us from who we are and from who our divine source is. Join me today’s episode to learn a new way to prioritize your relationships! 

 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• The order of relationships  
• We cannot give from an empty cup 
• The transactional nature in our relationships 
• The shift:  Getting your guidance from a Divine Source.  

 

Quotes 

[00:09:30] Most of us, especially as high achieving badass, powerful change-making women put ourselves last on the list, if we're even on the list. And a lot of times - source, what's that? And we put everyone else before us. And when we do that we get burnt out, stressed out and overwhelmed. And quite frankly that's also when you start to feel really raggedy and torn down and you look in the mirror and there's bags under your eyes and all that other good stuff. That's what happens when you've got the order of relationships out of order.  

[00:14:02] One of the biggest challenges that we see, especially in romantic partnerships, is that we try to make our significant other our everything. And so they need to be our partner, our spouse, our best friend or lover, our handyman or plumber. I mean, they need to be our everything. And that's too much of a burden to place on one person. And quite frankly, it's really not fair. And that's not their role. That's not their job. And yet, when you're putting them or others before yourself and God and anyone else, then what's going to happen is you're going to try to get something from them. That's the transactional nature that we often experience in our relationships. 

[00:15:37] I know and you know, and your spouse knows that y'all didn't get married just to live like roommates. You got married to share this heart-centered connection, this heart-based connection with another person. But guess what? It's gonna be really hard for you to have that heart-centered connection with someone else if you're constantly trying to get something from them, that you ought to be getting from your Divine Higher Power instead. 

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.

S3E11 Human Design with Christina De Los Angeles

Lately, we've been exploring how systems of supremacy and oppression teach us that we have to be either authentic or attached, when in reality - you can be both.

In today’s episode, Shirani is joined by Christina De Los Angeles, a marriage and family therapist, Human Design enthusiast and relationship coach, to talk about the beauty of Human Design as a way to understand and as a way to connect, not just with our own authenticity, but also in relationships with others. 

 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• What is Human Design? 

• Breaking down your Human Design Graph 

• How you understand your Human Design Type

• The importance of your Centers, Strategy and Authority 

 

Quotes 

[00:27:30] This is what makes up our ecosystem and what keeps it balanced. Between the initiators and the visionaries and the leaders and the doers and the ones who are taking the barometer of what's happening in the community or in the world...when I put it that way, it just feels like actually it’s going back to ancient cultures and the wisdom that communities had before colonization. Because every member of the community really did have their role and their part. 

[00:28:23] This is really honoring everyone's role in this whole. And it's not about who is more compatible. We have the opportunity to be compatible with each and every one if we're willing to see each other with different eyes and see each other for who we really are and who they really are. 

[00:40:37] I'm always just filled with a lot of gratitude for those that I'm able to work with, Whether it's couples or individuals that I'm doing Human Design reading for, because truly I've learned so much from them. And it's a continual, just divine reminder of how unique we are and also it gives this reminder of having this perspective of expansion too. That's one thing I felt - Human Design is not constricting. In fact, every part of the Human Design can be experienced in a million different ways.

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E10 The Both And

Systems of oppression and supremacy culture teach us that we have to choose one or the other, black or white. When we do that, we miss the entire rainbow spectrum of colors that comes in between black and white, we miss the full potential that life has to offer. But, what if we could choose the “Both/And”? 

Join me in today’s episode and learn how you too can have “Both/And”. 

 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• The binary way of thinking 
• Choosing to be attached over being authentic 
• Having the “Both/And” 
• Showing up authentically  
• Embodying and expressing your wholeness  

 

Quotes  

[00:15:14] That's the sad and unfortunate reality of a lot of us. A lot of us are moving through this life and moving through this world, thinking that we have to choose between being authentic or being attached. And when we do that, we stay in the place that supremacy culture wants us to stay in, that systems of oppression want us to remain in, which is not being authentically attached and authentically connected and authentically in relationships. Because when we're only bringing a part of ourselves to the relationship and leaving another part of us behind, we're not showing up in our whole and full selves. 

[00:16:37] We have this huge God-shaped hole inside of us that we are seeking to fill with all of these things outside of ourselves. These experiences, these achievements, these accolades outside of us, because we're forgetting that we’re already whole. And quite frankly, that's what the practices of fierce authenticity are. It's to support you in removing anything that serves as a block or a barrier to you, fully owning, understanding, embodying and expressing your wholeness. Because your wholeness is your authenticity. 

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E9 Authentic and Attached

For a lot of us, growing up under systems of oppression and cultures of supremacy, lead to questioning ourselves and our experiences. In this questioning, we start to disconnect from ourselves so that we can stay in connection and in attachment with those around us, because we’re taught that we can only have one or the other. 

Join Shirani in today’s episode and find out how you can have both attachment and authenticity, how you can show up with love and compassion for others while also showing up with love and compassion for yourself.    

 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• Disconnecting from ourselves 
• Can we experience both attachment and authenticity?
• Binary vs Indigenous - there isn’t just one choice
• Don't get sucked into the illusion
• Show up with love and compassion  

 

Quotes 

[00:05:18] We're wired for connection, we're wired for belonging, and we're wired to be in community, whether that community is promoting safe and supportive cultures, or whether that community is supporting systems of oppression and supremacy culture and everything that comes with that including violence, hatred, chaos, anger, and all of that other stuff that we see primarily and predominantly in our world today 

[00:08:30] When we're focusing on the binary, the one or the other, the black or the white, the yes or the no, the this or the that. the good or the bad...when we're only focused on two options and we have to choose one of the two options, meaning that one option is correct and the other option is incorrect, what we're doing is we're missing the entire rainbow spectrum of colors that comes in between. And this is what indigenous wisdom and other wisdom traditions understood - that there isn't just one choice. And more importantly that we can choose the “both/and”.  

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E8 Healing the Trauma Caused by Supremacy

In today’s episode, Shirani dives into the connection between the trauma that originates from supremacy culture and the practice of fierce authenticity.  

Supremacy culture has led us to the adaptation of disconnecting from who we are and suppressing our authentic selves. The disconnection from our authenticity is a trauma response. It is a survival response, it’s a way for us to survive the trauma of supremacy.  

So, how do we heal?  

By choosing to reconnect with ourselves and who we are. By humanizing ourselves so that we can start to reconnect with others and humanize them as well. This is what ripples out to heal us all.

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• Trauma isn't only the big T traumas 

• The original relational rupture  

• Creating adaptations aka trauma responses 

• Attachment to others and authenticity 

• Healing by humanizing ourselves and others 

   

LINKS AND RESOURCES: 

• Fierce Authenticity: Show up. Be Seen. Get Love https://www.shiranimpathak.com/fierceauthenticity 

   

Quotes 

[00:11:08] As I was moving through the process of learning and moving through my own healing, especially as I began healing through my own racialized trauma, what I realized is that what we're dealing with is so much bigger than the Euro-colonization and white body supremacy that began about 500 years ago. It actually goes back so far that we've completely lost touch with the fact that it started 5,500 years ago.  

[00:16:19] The trauma of supremacy culture has led us to the adaptation of disconnecting from who we are and suppressing ourselves. The disconnection from our authenticity is a trauma response. It is a survival response. It is a hard disconnection from our authenticity, it’s a way for us to survive the trauma of Supremacy.  

[00:17:18] Humans have only two survival needs: attachment to others and authenticity, which is our attachment to ourselves and our own gut feelings. 

[00:24:01] The practice of fierce authenticity supports us in healing from the trauma of supremacy culture by utilizing scientific, psychological and spiritual tools so that we can connect with our fierce authenticity and live, love and lead from that space, rather than from a space that's still operating under systems of oppression and from systems of supremacy. 

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E7 The Truth About Self-Sabotage

In today’s episode, Shirani expands on the topic of how supremacy culture shows up in our everyday life by talking about self sabotage. 

There’s a misconception that if you just don't listen to that self sabotaging voice, you'll be able to just push through and do whatever needs to be done. Just. Push. Through. But that’s exactly what supremacy culture wants us to do; to force, to push against, to oppress. Because self sabotage isn't actually sabotage; what most people call self sabotage is actually self preservation.


In today’s episode, we cover: 

• Supremacy culture's lies about self sabotage 
• Going down the rabbit hole of self sabotage  
• How to break the loop of self sabotage 
• Compassionate curiosity: create an alliance not divisiveness. 

Quotes 

[00:08:51] Self sabotage isn't actually sabotage. That's just one of the lies that has sprung forth from the well of supremacy culture’s lies in order to keep beating up on yourself. Because if supremacy culture is not beating up on you, and your parents aren't beating up on you or your boss isn't  beating up on you, well somebody has to beat up on you and that somebody is going to be you. 

[00:17:07] If there is a part of you that has been conditioned to believe, whether that be personally, ancestrally, intergenerationally or collectively, if there is a part of you that has been conditioned to believe that is unsafe for you to be seen in this position of power, or for you to even have a position of quote unquote power, then of course, your protector parts are going to kick up, sound the alarm bells and activate self preservation, because it just wants to keep you safe.

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E6: Time Affluence with Guest Shailaja Vishwanath

In today’s episode, Shirani is joined by Shailaja Vishwanath. Shailaja is a blog, social media, and productivity coach who helps creators grow a loyal audience of engaged readers, clients and customers while tapping into their passion. Today she is here to share her, maybe unusual but so needed perspective on social media and time affluence. 

In today’s episode, we cover:

• How to approach social media with intention 
• Supremacy culture’s conditioning of being “productive” 
• What is time affluence and how to get more of it 
• The hustle and macho culture in mainstream marketing 
• Shailaja’s 60-day sabbatical from social media and the lessons she learned 

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

• Shailaja’s website: https://shailajav.com/  
• Shailaja on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shailajav/  
• Shailaja’s podcast: https://shailajav.com/podcast/  
• Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder by Arianna Huffington 

 
Quotes 

[00:10:52] What if we were to shift the narrative and say I'm going to just be myself. I love this quote: “You are a human being, you are not a human doing.” So why is that so important? Because the more we understand that just being ourselves is enough, the more our audience understands that too and they can identify with us.  

[00:17:14] Every individual has a choice to make the distinction between what they need to do and what they want to do. Most often our to-do lists are a combination of these two things...but I believe making that distinction is important because not all of your wants are urgent or important. But things that you need to do, either for your personal growth, your business, or your home, these are things which will actually make you feel fulfilled at the end of the day. 

[00:18:44] If I'm not packing my day with all of the things that the world tells me is important, and instead circle back to what I believe is important for me personally, that's when time affluence really comes into play. 

[00:24:02] Even if we do live in a culture of supremacy, I believe a lot of things start at home. So, if you are a parent or if you have a situation where you have the power to offer that kind of expansive comfort for your kids, I think that can shape a lot of who they want to be and what they want to be and not necessarily follow the dictates of marketing culture 

[00:26:30] And I am a huge proponent of the slow and steady culture: you grow at a very reasonable pace, but at a pace that feels comfortable and authentic to you. 

[00:31:30] Supremacy culture is not going to be dismantled from the outside, it's going to be dismantled from the inside. I sometimes refer to it like a Trojan horse, it's something that happens from the inside and that quiet rebellion, that quiet revolution, that's exactly it. That's how it's going to happen. 

[00:39:41] Maybe the hustle marketing culture works for some people but what a lot of people don't understand is that the reason the hustle marketing culture doesn't work is because everybody is doing it. We're not fools. 

[00:46:25] There is a sense of freedom that descends on you when you give yourself this gift of time. And I think all of us deserve that. It's not something we need to fight for or scramble for, we owe it to ourselves every single day. And whether or not we like it, social media is us being subservient to other people's time.

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E5: Everyday Supremacy

In today’s episode, Shirani is shining a light on what she refers to as “everyday supremacy”; ways in which we uphold supremacy culture on an everyday basis. Ways that keep us divided, separate and isolated. But the truth is that we're just trying to prove that we are worthy of love, acceptance, connection and belonging. So, how do we heal everyday supremacy so that we can get what we truly desire?  

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• How we keep ourselves divided, separate and isolated 
• Operating from the space of judgment and criticism 
• Fight-or-flight, freeze and fawn  
• We are worthy of love, acceptance, connection and belonging 
• How do we heal 

LINKS AND RESOURCES: 

• Outrunning Burnout with Special Guest Robyn Mourning: https://www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast/outrunning-burnout-with-robyn-mourning

Quotes 

[00:11:05] One of the biggest ways that we, on an everyday basis, uphold supremacy culture is by keeping ourselves isolated, and behind these walls of separation. And we do it by keeping ourselves just kind of blocked off, defended, walled off. We don't actually allow people to see inside of us. 

[00:16:45] What do humans want, what are we wired for? We are wired for connection and belonging. We are wired for social connection, that's just how our brains work. Humans are social creatures, this is how our brains are wired. And so, when there is a threat to our survival, because we think that we're going to be ousted from the group, we can go into that nervous system response of fawn, which is a really fu*king confusing nervous system response. 

[00:23:10] And the truth is that in our walling off and in our defending, we're just trying to prove that we are worthy of love, acceptance, connection and belonging. But because our nervous systems are so dysregulated and because supremacist conditioning really is the malware that's been embedded so deep in our brains, we do it all while still frozen under supremacy’s conditioning. 

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.