Fierce Authenticity

S3E10 The Both And

Systems of oppression and supremacy culture teach us that we have to choose one or the other, black or white. When we do that, we miss the entire rainbow spectrum of colors that comes in between black and white, we miss the full potential that life has to offer. But, what if we could choose the “Both/And”? 

Join me in today’s episode and learn how you too can have “Both/And”. 

 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• The binary way of thinking 
• Choosing to be attached over being authentic 
• Having the “Both/And” 
• Showing up authentically  
• Embodying and expressing your wholeness  

 

Quotes  

[00:15:14] That's the sad and unfortunate reality of a lot of us. A lot of us are moving through this life and moving through this world, thinking that we have to choose between being authentic or being attached. And when we do that, we stay in the place that supremacy culture wants us to stay in, that systems of oppression want us to remain in, which is not being authentically attached and authentically connected and authentically in relationships. Because when we're only bringing a part of ourselves to the relationship and leaving another part of us behind, we're not showing up in our whole and full selves. 

[00:16:37] We have this huge God-shaped hole inside of us that we are seeking to fill with all of these things outside of ourselves. These experiences, these achievements, these accolades outside of us, because we're forgetting that we’re already whole. And quite frankly, that's what the practices of fierce authenticity are. It's to support you in removing anything that serves as a block or a barrier to you, fully owning, understanding, embodying and expressing your wholeness. Because your wholeness is your authenticity. 

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E9 Authentic and Attached

For a lot of us, growing up under systems of oppression and cultures of supremacy, lead to questioning ourselves and our experiences. In this questioning, we start to disconnect from ourselves so that we can stay in connection and in attachment with those around us, because we’re taught that we can only have one or the other. 

Join Shirani in today’s episode and find out how you can have both attachment and authenticity, how you can show up with love and compassion for others while also showing up with love and compassion for yourself.    

 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• Disconnecting from ourselves 
• Can we experience both attachment and authenticity?
• Binary vs Indigenous - there isn’t just one choice
• Don't get sucked into the illusion
• Show up with love and compassion  

 

Quotes 

[00:05:18] We're wired for connection, we're wired for belonging, and we're wired to be in community, whether that community is promoting safe and supportive cultures, or whether that community is supporting systems of oppression and supremacy culture and everything that comes with that including violence, hatred, chaos, anger, and all of that other stuff that we see primarily and predominantly in our world today 

[00:08:30] When we're focusing on the binary, the one or the other, the black or the white, the yes or the no, the this or the that. the good or the bad...when we're only focused on two options and we have to choose one of the two options, meaning that one option is correct and the other option is incorrect, what we're doing is we're missing the entire rainbow spectrum of colors that comes in between. And this is what indigenous wisdom and other wisdom traditions understood - that there isn't just one choice. And more importantly that we can choose the “both/and”.  

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E8 Healing the Trauma Caused by Supremacy

In today’s episode, Shirani dives into the connection between the trauma that originates from supremacy culture and the practice of fierce authenticity.  

Supremacy culture has led us to the adaptation of disconnecting from who we are and suppressing our authentic selves. The disconnection from our authenticity is a trauma response. It is a survival response, it’s a way for us to survive the trauma of supremacy.  

So, how do we heal?  

By choosing to reconnect with ourselves and who we are. By humanizing ourselves so that we can start to reconnect with others and humanize them as well. This is what ripples out to heal us all.

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• Trauma isn't only the big T traumas 

• The original relational rupture  

• Creating adaptations aka trauma responses 

• Attachment to others and authenticity 

• Healing by humanizing ourselves and others 

   

LINKS AND RESOURCES: 

• Fierce Authenticity: Show up. Be Seen. Get Love https://www.shiranimpathak.com/fierceauthenticity 

   

Quotes 

[00:11:08] As I was moving through the process of learning and moving through my own healing, especially as I began healing through my own racialized trauma, what I realized is that what we're dealing with is so much bigger than the Euro-colonization and white body supremacy that began about 500 years ago. It actually goes back so far that we've completely lost touch with the fact that it started 5,500 years ago.  

[00:16:19] The trauma of supremacy culture has led us to the adaptation of disconnecting from who we are and suppressing ourselves. The disconnection from our authenticity is a trauma response. It is a survival response. It is a hard disconnection from our authenticity, it’s a way for us to survive the trauma of Supremacy.  

[00:17:18] Humans have only two survival needs: attachment to others and authenticity, which is our attachment to ourselves and our own gut feelings. 

[00:24:01] The practice of fierce authenticity supports us in healing from the trauma of supremacy culture by utilizing scientific, psychological and spiritual tools so that we can connect with our fierce authenticity and live, love and lead from that space, rather than from a space that's still operating under systems of oppression and from systems of supremacy. 

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E7 The Truth About Self-Sabotage

In today’s episode, Shirani expands on the topic of how supremacy culture shows up in our everyday life by talking about self sabotage. 

There’s a misconception that if you just don't listen to that self sabotaging voice, you'll be able to just push through and do whatever needs to be done. Just. Push. Through. But that’s exactly what supremacy culture wants us to do; to force, to push against, to oppress. Because self sabotage isn't actually sabotage; what most people call self sabotage is actually self preservation.


In today’s episode, we cover: 

• Supremacy culture's lies about self sabotage 
• Going down the rabbit hole of self sabotage  
• How to break the loop of self sabotage 
• Compassionate curiosity: create an alliance not divisiveness. 

Quotes 

[00:08:51] Self sabotage isn't actually sabotage. That's just one of the lies that has sprung forth from the well of supremacy culture’s lies in order to keep beating up on yourself. Because if supremacy culture is not beating up on you, and your parents aren't beating up on you or your boss isn't  beating up on you, well somebody has to beat up on you and that somebody is going to be you. 

[00:17:07] If there is a part of you that has been conditioned to believe, whether that be personally, ancestrally, intergenerationally or collectively, if there is a part of you that has been conditioned to believe that is unsafe for you to be seen in this position of power, or for you to even have a position of quote unquote power, then of course, your protector parts are going to kick up, sound the alarm bells and activate self preservation, because it just wants to keep you safe.

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E6: Time Affluence with Guest Shailaja Vishwanath

In today’s episode, Shirani is joined by Shailaja Vishwanath. Shailaja is a blog, social media, and productivity coach who helps creators grow a loyal audience of engaged readers, clients and customers while tapping into their passion. Today she is here to share her, maybe unusual but so needed perspective on social media and time affluence. 

In today’s episode, we cover:

• How to approach social media with intention 
• Supremacy culture’s conditioning of being “productive” 
• What is time affluence and how to get more of it 
• The hustle and macho culture in mainstream marketing 
• Shailaja’s 60-day sabbatical from social media and the lessons she learned 

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

• Shailaja’s website: https://shailajav.com/  
• Shailaja on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shailajav/  
• Shailaja’s podcast: https://shailajav.com/podcast/  
• Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder by Arianna Huffington 

 
Quotes 

[00:10:52] What if we were to shift the narrative and say I'm going to just be myself. I love this quote: “You are a human being, you are not a human doing.” So why is that so important? Because the more we understand that just being ourselves is enough, the more our audience understands that too and they can identify with us.  

[00:17:14] Every individual has a choice to make the distinction between what they need to do and what they want to do. Most often our to-do lists are a combination of these two things...but I believe making that distinction is important because not all of your wants are urgent or important. But things that you need to do, either for your personal growth, your business, or your home, these are things which will actually make you feel fulfilled at the end of the day. 

[00:18:44] If I'm not packing my day with all of the things that the world tells me is important, and instead circle back to what I believe is important for me personally, that's when time affluence really comes into play. 

[00:24:02] Even if we do live in a culture of supremacy, I believe a lot of things start at home. So, if you are a parent or if you have a situation where you have the power to offer that kind of expansive comfort for your kids, I think that can shape a lot of who they want to be and what they want to be and not necessarily follow the dictates of marketing culture 

[00:26:30] And I am a huge proponent of the slow and steady culture: you grow at a very reasonable pace, but at a pace that feels comfortable and authentic to you. 

[00:31:30] Supremacy culture is not going to be dismantled from the outside, it's going to be dismantled from the inside. I sometimes refer to it like a Trojan horse, it's something that happens from the inside and that quiet rebellion, that quiet revolution, that's exactly it. That's how it's going to happen. 

[00:39:41] Maybe the hustle marketing culture works for some people but what a lot of people don't understand is that the reason the hustle marketing culture doesn't work is because everybody is doing it. We're not fools. 

[00:46:25] There is a sense of freedom that descends on you when you give yourself this gift of time. And I think all of us deserve that. It's not something we need to fight for or scramble for, we owe it to ourselves every single day. And whether or not we like it, social media is us being subservient to other people's time.

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E5: Everyday Supremacy

In today’s episode, Shirani is shining a light on what she refers to as “everyday supremacy”; ways in which we uphold supremacy culture on an everyday basis. Ways that keep us divided, separate and isolated. But the truth is that we're just trying to prove that we are worthy of love, acceptance, connection and belonging. So, how do we heal everyday supremacy so that we can get what we truly desire?  

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• How we keep ourselves divided, separate and isolated 
• Operating from the space of judgment and criticism 
• Fight-or-flight, freeze and fawn  
• We are worthy of love, acceptance, connection and belonging 
• How do we heal 

LINKS AND RESOURCES: 

• Outrunning Burnout with Special Guest Robyn Mourning: https://www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast/outrunning-burnout-with-robyn-mourning

Quotes 

[00:11:05] One of the biggest ways that we, on an everyday basis, uphold supremacy culture is by keeping ourselves isolated, and behind these walls of separation. And we do it by keeping ourselves just kind of blocked off, defended, walled off. We don't actually allow people to see inside of us. 

[00:16:45] What do humans want, what are we wired for? We are wired for connection and belonging. We are wired for social connection, that's just how our brains work. Humans are social creatures, this is how our brains are wired. And so, when there is a threat to our survival, because we think that we're going to be ousted from the group, we can go into that nervous system response of fawn, which is a really fu*king confusing nervous system response. 

[00:23:10] And the truth is that in our walling off and in our defending, we're just trying to prove that we are worthy of love, acceptance, connection and belonging. But because our nervous systems are so dysregulated and because supremacist conditioning really is the malware that's been embedded so deep in our brains, we do it all while still frozen under supremacy’s conditioning. 

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

 

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

 

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E4: 5000 Years of Trauma

Supremacy culture began long ago before the Middle Ages and Euro colonization. This is when white body supremacy culture began, but the pattern of supremacy culture has been with us since the first known recorded civilization, the ancient Sumerian civilization. That is over 5000 years of trauma that lives in our body and our DNA. It’s time we heal it! 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• Being vulnerable and speaking up 
• The pattern of supremacy culture goes 5000 years back 
• How do we heal 5000+ years of trauma?  
• Pause. Breathe. Notice. Regulate. 

Quotes 

[00:04:45] Supremacy culture doesn't do vulnerability and supremacy culture sure as heck does not want you to speak up and speak out about the f*ck up shit that it does.  

 [00:06:16] So that I could do what I'm here to do. And that is to illuminate and speak up against all these ways that for more than 5000 years supremacy culture has traumatized us, conditioned us and programmed us and quite frankly, has created the world that we see today, a world where hate is spread like wildfire. 

[00:09:28] The Middle Ages with Euro colonization was not when supremacy culture began. That's when white body supremacy culture began, but the pattern of supremacy culture has been with us since the first known recorded civilization, the ancient Sumerian civilization. 

[00:14:05] But really, that person who believes themselves to be superior or that group that believes themselves to be superior, what they're operating from is an intense amount of fear. Because if you're better than someone and someone is worse than you, then that means that somewhere out there in the world, someone else might be better than you and you might be inferior to someone else. And so, you do whatever it takes to ensure that nobody else ever is “powerful” enough to conquer you and be superior to you. 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast. 

S3E3: Recovering from Failure

Supremacy culture wants us to stay disconnected. It wants us to stay in shame, so that we don't speak, so that we don't share. But you know what supremacy culture? You don't win this one. In today’s episode, Shirani explains how she got back up after feeling completely burnt out last year, and how her realization that she was building her business from a place of fear and trauma response turned everything around. 

 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• Failure to launch that resulted in a crash and burn 
• Mental, emotional and spiritual reorganization 
• Our traumas are encoded in our DNA 
• Committing to Higher Power and healing 5000+ years’ worth of trauma 

 

Quotes 

[00:05:58] People who are doing the work, people who have the knowledge, we can still fall victim to supremacy’s conditioning popping up at any time. And that's the really tricky part about this work, that it's not a one and done. This is a constant continual practice; it is a constant continual process. 

[00:06:53] Supremacy culture wants us to stay disconnected. It wants me to stay in shame, so that I don't speak about this, so I don't share about this. But you know what supremacy culture? F*uck you, you don't win. You don't win this one. My listeners, my community, my people, the world, they need to hear this. 

[00:11:33] And what came to me, this huge awareness, was that for the prior seven years of trying to build my business, I had been doing it from a total trauma response, like I had been doing it from a mode of survival 

[00:17:05] One thing I can say for certain is that I know with my entire heart, body, spirit, soul...all of me, every single cell knows that my work is about more than simply dismantling supremacy culture. It is actually about healing 5000 plus years’ worth of trauma that we have inflicted upon one another and ourselves in all of these crimes and violent acts that we've participated in, experienced and perpetuated in our relationships with ourselves, with the Divine and with each other. 

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

Find Me on Social Media:

Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove

If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.