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Shirani M. Pathak teaches you how to have amazing relationships by doing one simple thing: dismantling supremacy’s internalized oppression and conditioning. Though it’s simple, it may not be easy. Tune in to learn how perfectionism, imposter syndrome, judgement, criticism, comparison (aka comparisonitis), fear of failure, inadequacy and the “not enoughs” hold you back from the amazing relationships you desire. In this podcast I‘m illuminating how what you‘re feeling is a result of what we’ve been programmed to believe living under supremacy culture’s systems of oppression, and offer solutions to help you heal from supremacy‘s sneaky conditioning. I cover topics of racism, relationships, emotional intelligence, relational intelligence, neuroscience, the nervous system, intergenerational trauma, epigenetics, spirituality, authentic leadership, alcoholism, addiction, abuse, violence and so much more. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and join me in my private newsletter community where I have a specially curated collection of tools to get started. Visit https://www.shiranimpathak.com/connect where the tools are waiting for you.
Episodes
Thursday May 27, 2021
Thursday May 27, 2021
Do you ever get that feeling of loneliness and lack of connection? Those feelings are a part of our lack of fulfillment and they’re due to our disconnection from Source, Self and others. In today’s episode we talk about how, for generations, our way of thinking and our false beliefs are keeping us from feeling worthy and receiving the love, the beauty, the joy, the connection, the contentment, and the fulfillment that our Higher Power truly wants for us to have and to experience. Are money, power, property and prestige all that there is?
In today’s episode, we cover:
- How our false beliefs are keeping us feeling unworthy and unlovable
- Receiving the gifts from our higher power and getting rid of clutter
- Going straight to the source-supremacy culture
- What it is that we want-money, power, property, prestige
- Preparing our altar for love, beauty, joy and fulfillment
Quotes:
[00:05:42] No amount of achievements, or accolades, or money in the bank is actually going to help you feel valuable and worthy, because that's not how this works. You are inherently valuable and worthy and deserving, simply because you exist. And you never have to prove that to anybody.
[00:09:36] So this thing runs deep. And it's bigger than your parents and your grandparents, or that teacher or that person who didn't believe in you. And that's why, in order to clear out the beliefs that you have about your lack of value and your worth, you need to dismantle the effects of supremacy within you.
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, offers on anything I create, and a special mini-audio training catching you up on the practice of Fierce Authenticity delivered straight to your inbox:
www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday May 20, 2021
Thursday May 20, 2021
If you feel burnt out, like there's something missing and you just know that you're not living your life to its fullest capacity despite having all the things, then today’s episode is exactly what you need.
Today, Shirani talks about why we always chase after the next thing just to end up feeling unfulfilled and exhausted. She talks about her own experience on the path to fulfillment and how you can do the same. So, tune in and learn how to place your Higher Power where They belong and lead a life of fulfillment and joy!
In today’s episode, we cover:
- Why do we always chase the next thing: relationship, accolades, promotions
- How to leave room in your life for your divine higher power
- Shirani’s own experience on the path to fulfillment
- Feeling fulfilled and how to stop seeking external validation
- Your relationship with your divine source of unconditional love
Quotes
[00:10:06] If you're feeling unfulfilled, despite having all the things that you thought you wanted, and living the life that you thought you dreamed, if you still feel unfulfilled despite all of that, then it's because you've made all of those things your higher power, and put them in the place of where your divine higher power - a God, Goddess, Spirit, Divine of your understanding - needs to be.
[00:12:40] As you begin to do that and as you begin to experience what that feels like, you will never, ever, ever again have to place so much value and seek this validation and this happiness from any person, place or thing outside of you, including your titles, your achievements and what projects you've brought to completion. All of that will just be the icing on the cake, the cherry on top. All of that gets to be the extras that makes life just a little bit sweeter.
To receive your bonus podcast episode, visit www.fierceauthenticity.com/starthere
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday May 13, 2021
Thursday May 13, 2021
Today’s episode is all about boundaries and the small shifts you can make to your perspective so that you can be true to yourself and your boundaries with ease.
One of the biggest misconceptions when it comes to boundaries is that you create boundaries *for* other people, when in fact, boundaries are for you.
Boundaries are created for *you* to adhere to them, not for others to adhere to them.
You don’t create boundaries so that you can control or manipulate how other people interact with you, you create boundaries so that you can interact with others in integrity and alignment with who you are and how you want to engage with others.
The next misconception people often have about boundaries is that when you set a boundary it's to keep things out - to keep out the drama, the criticism, the negativity. But boundaries aren't about what you’re keeping out, they're about what you're protecting and keeping in - your integrity, your sanity (and insanity at times), your serenity.
Once you make the shift that the function boundaries serve is to protect what’s valuable to you and not to keep things out, it becomes a whole lot easier for you to honor the boundaries you have created for yourself.
You might want to think about it this way - if you're planting a tree, and it's just barely starting to peek through the ground, would you leave that little sprout completely unprotected against the outside elements, to fend for itself? Absolutely not! You would put a fence around it, you would protect it from the outside elements that could potentially kill your little seedling.
Your boundaries are your fence, your boundaries are to help nurture you so that you can grow.
So, the next time you think about boundaries, remember:
Boundaries are for you.
Other people will constantly try to move your boundaries, get you to break them, go over them or under them, either because it’s who they are or because it’s how they are used to you being. And when you believe that your boundaries are there for others, you will get upset and move them constantly. But when you recognize that your boundaries are there to protect you, then it becomes so much easier to know what you have to do, in any given moment, in order to protect that.
Setting your boundaries means that you are taking accountability for your wellbeing, your sanity, your serenity and acting in your integrity. That is your responsibility and it will help you to operate from a place of love, kindness and compassion for yourself and for others.
To receive your bonus podcast episode, visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday May 06, 2021
Thursday May 06, 2021
Today we’re busting the myth that there’s value in the hustle and grind, and offering an alternative instead.
I see you over there, placing your value on how hard you can hustle and do the grind.
And I also see that you’re incredibly exhausted.
So, tell me, how’s the hustle and grind serving you?
Spoiler alert: It’s not.
In today’s episode we’re talking about the fact that most of the time when you’re in the hustle, grinding away, you’re not in the flow, and instead, you’re trying to force your will to “make things happen.”
Only, the harder you grind, the harder you try and force things to happen...and the more exhausted you get.
Or, alternatively, you grind hard, get sh*t done, and when it’s over and you’ve achieved the thing you were trying to achieve, you can’t even enjoy it...because you’re so exhausted you’re just glad it’s over.
I get it. I used to be that person. Spinning my wheels, trying to make sh*t happen, running on fumes, exhausted all the time.
Until I finally hit a wall and realized I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep living that way. It was unsustainable.
As I began healing through the experience, I realized, the reason hustling and grinding is so exhausting is because often when we’re in the hustle, we’re trying to force our will and we’re not in the flow.
When we’re not in the flow it’s because we’re not in our right minds.
What does it mean to be in our right minds?
It means to think with God.
When we’re not in flow, we’re not thinking with God.
When we’re not thinking with God, we believe in illusions.
When we believe in illusions, we believe in the lie that there’s value in the hustle and grind.
Tune in today as I share about the error in the hustle, a truth bomb about where the myth that there’s value in the hustle and grind comes from, and offer you a simple alternative instead.
You’ll be surprised at how simple it is to free yourself from the illusion of the hustle and get into flow. All it takes is one big awareness (that I reveal in this episode) and three simple questions.
Enjoy!
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Apr 29, 2021
Thursday Apr 29, 2021
Developing a relationship with a power greater than yourself is not optional, it's mandatory, if you are going to be a leader who can truly affect global change.
The reason we see all of the different problems in our world today, is because we have forgotten our connection with a Divine Source of Power greater than ourselves. A Divine Power that guides us, fuels us, gives us the power that we have.
Without that connection we're like unplugged lamps, wandering around looking for something to plug ourselves into so that we can shine brightly. We think that plugging ourselves into our achievements, our house, our cars, our shoes, and who we know, is going to be the source of power for that lamp so that we can shine brightly.
Except when you do that, you realize that plugging yourself into all of those other things don't give you the lasting light, brightness, joy, and fulfillment that you want. And without the light, brightness, joy, fulfillment and love, you don't have the ability to change the world.
Why?
Because you're still plugging yourself into all the wrong things, things that are motivated by power, property and prestige.
When motivated by power, property and prestige, we get supremacy culture.
Supremacy culture is born out of our separation from God.
Only the thing is, we're never separated from God, we've only forgotten our connection.
That's why in today's episode we are talking about the importance of remembering your relationship with a Power Greater than yourself, and how without that connection it's going to be very difficult for you to create the change you deeply desire to see in our world... which means you cannot experience the love, joy, peace and fulfillment that you truly want to experience... and you'll experience burnout, overwhelm, and disconnection instead.
And trust me I get it. As an immigrant WOC who’s experienced significant personal, intergenerational, and cultural trauma, learning to trust in a Divine Power greater than myself was incredibly difficult.
Tune in to today's episode as I share more about my story and how your remembrance of your connection with a Divine Power greater than you is going to make you a more effective and powerful leader.
Highlights:
- Your ability to experience fulfillment, joy, and greater balance life depends on how well integrated you are vs how compartmentalized or fragmented you are. That integration comes from a Divine Power greater than yourself.
- In order to shift the pain you see in the world, you have to remember your connection with a Source of Divine Power greater than you. It’s the only way.
- You need to want to have a relationship with a Power Greater than yourself.
- Supremacy culture comes from our perceived separation from God and each other.
- Due to the conditioning of supremacy culture, I believed God’s Love and favor was conditional, based on what I could DO to prove myself to God. Because of course, if God loved me, God wouldn’t have let all of those awful things happen to me and others.
- LOVE: Letting Others Voluntarily Evolve
- We all have the same mission on this planet: To love and be loved.
- When you attempt to disconnect from God, God is still there.
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Apr 22, 2021
Thursday Apr 22, 2021
One of the age old questions is: how to balance your personal and professional lives?
Work-life balance is the million dollar question.
The reason the answer is ever elusive for so many people is because they’re buying into the myth that the personal and the professional are separate.
In today’s episode we’re talking about the fact that the personal and the professional aren’t separate, and debunking the myth that they are.
The problem with seeing work and life as two separate things is why so many people fail to achieve the balance they strive for.
How you show up and what has impacted you personally, is going to show up in your professional life. And what shows up and has impacted you professionally is going to show up in your personal life. It’s a feedback loop.
There’s a saying, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
You can’t escape yourself and your experiences.
But most folx try to keep the personal and the professional completely separate...which compartmentalizes you and keeps parts of you fragmented off from the other, requiring you to expend tremendous amounts of energy trying to keep them separate. The result is you end up feeling awful...while simultaneously getting triggered by people at work and not understanding why.
Women often seek me out because they're having challenges in their personal relationships. As we work together, they realize that as they start to shift the ways they show up in their personal relationships, their professional lives and relationships start to shift as well.
Teams start performing better, employee satisfaction and retention improves, and revenue grows, all as a result of these female leaders shifting how they show up in their personal lives.
When you recognize that the personal and the professional are not mutually exclusive, you begin to allow yourself to show up with greater authenticity, in all areas of your life.
As you do so your brain expends less energy in trying to compartmentalize the two parts of your life, which results in you feeling less exhausted and more energized so that you can actually enjoy both of these parts of your life.
It’s important to know this because it’s going to be the basis of episodes from here on out. :)
PS: Since I know this is a new and different concept for most people, I’ve created a bonus private podcast episode to support you with this. The episode is a short practice that you can do in less than 5 minutes and will help you deepen your understanding of this.
To receive your bonus podcast episode, visit www.fierceauthenticity.com/starthere
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Apr 15, 2021
Thursday Apr 15, 2021
Today we’re answering the question how do we shift from problems to solutions, and I’m sharing with you a powerful 3-part process to help you succeed.
When we have a hard time resolving problems, especially in a team or group setting, or when solutions don’t stick, there’s a couple major reasons for it:
1. We haven’t taken a thorough history of the problem.
2. We’re trying to problem solve from a brain that isn’t in the neurological state conducive to solving complex problems.
Neurobiologically, the brain has to be in a state of calm in order to be able to access the pre-frontal cortex, which is where all logical and complex thought processes occur.
When we’re dealing with problems, especially problems that are charged and triggering, our pre-frontal cortex can go offline and our survival (read: fight or flight brain) takes over.
The brain is not capable of solving complex problems when we’re in the survival fight or flight state.
That’s why we need to do what we can in order to keep the pre-frontal cortex as online as possible while we’re working on problem resolution.
One of the primary pathways in the brain between the survival brain and the higher reasoning brain is compassion.
Which is what makes the following 3-part process crucial in developing long-term, sustainable solutions to problems.
In the 12-step recovery world these steps are referred to as The 3 As:
Awareness
Acceptance and
Action
Our problem most of the time is we jump straight from awareness to action, and we completely bypass the step of acceptance, which is the bridge between the two!
When we skip the acceptance part of the problem solving process, we don’t deal with our triggers, which activate our survival brains, which is why we aren’t able to come up with effective solutions that stick.
Acceptance is the part of the process where we’re using the pathway and skill of compassion to develop a thorough understanding of the history of the problem, so that we can develop solutions that work.
A side note here: Acceptance isn’t condoning the behavior that led to a problem or the problem itself. Acceptance is about no longer rejecting the reality that the problem is what it is and the reality of what led to the problem.
The beauty of it all is, when you take the time to thoroughly understand the problem, which requires sitting in the awareness and acceptance parts of the process, the actions (or solutions) come quite quickly and naturally.
Which, as I explain in this episode, is also the reason we’ve taken the last 52 episodes of the podcast to do a lengthy history of the problem facing us today as womxn, and especially BIPOC women in leadership. From here on out, we’re going to be talking solutions, because without solutions, nothing changes.
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Apr 01, 2021
Thursday Apr 01, 2021
Have you ever wondered the best way to set your day up for success?
One of our community members asked me this question a couple of months ago, and in today’s episode, I’m sharing with you the exact steps I take to set my day up for success.
Before we talk about my actual morning routine, however, we need to talk about how it's our spiritual connection to a Power Greater than ourselves that actually sets us up for success.
In this episode we talk about spirituality, the power of morning rituals, and how connection with a Higher Power can shift your entire day. I also walk you through my exact morning routine with me.
Why does this matter to you as a woman in leadership?
It matters because we get pulled in a gazillion different directions every single day and if we aren’t connecting with a Source of Power Greater than us, we can get frazzled and fried and feel very all over the place. (Burnout anyone?)
When you connect with a Power Greater than you, you’re connected with the guidance that will help you prioritize, make decisions, and know exactly what to do and how.
As a reminder, if you would like to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, such as the Love Note that guides you through more detailed practices, then be sure to join our Fierce Authenticity Newsletter Community at www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
PS: As a heads up, we’ll be taking a break next week to allow you a chance to catch up on any episodes you missed and integrate what you’ve learned before we come back in a couple of weeks with all new episodes.
Today's episode is sponsored by:
The Sanctuary for BIPOC Women in Leadership
If you're a BIPOC womxn in leadership, and you'd like to connect with a group of others who look like you, who have similar experiences to yours, and who are tired of the bull shit (just like you) then head on over to www.bipocsanctuary.com to learn more and get on the interest list.
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.