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Shirani M. Pathak teaches you how to have amazing relationships by doing one simple thing: dismantling supremacy’s internalized oppression and conditioning. Though it’s simple, it may not be easy. Tune in to learn how perfectionism, imposter syndrome, judgement, criticism, comparison (aka comparisonitis), fear of failure, inadequacy and the “not enoughs” hold you back from the amazing relationships you desire. In this podcast I‘m illuminating how what you‘re feeling is a result of what we’ve been programmed to believe living under supremacy culture’s systems of oppression, and offer solutions to help you heal from supremacy‘s sneaky conditioning. I cover topics of racism, relationships, emotional intelligence, relational intelligence, neuroscience, the nervous system, intergenerational trauma, epigenetics, spirituality, authentic leadership, alcoholism, addiction, abuse, violence and so much more. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and join me in my private newsletter community where I have a specially curated collection of tools to get started. Visit https://www.shiranimpathak.com/connect where the tools are waiting for you.
Episodes
Thursday Apr 15, 2021
Thursday Apr 15, 2021
Today we’re answering the question how do we shift from problems to solutions, and I’m sharing with you a powerful 3-part process to help you succeed.
When we have a hard time resolving problems, especially in a team or group setting, or when solutions don’t stick, there’s a couple major reasons for it:
1. We haven’t taken a thorough history of the problem.
2. We’re trying to problem solve from a brain that isn’t in the neurological state conducive to solving complex problems.
Neurobiologically, the brain has to be in a state of calm in order to be able to access the pre-frontal cortex, which is where all logical and complex thought processes occur.
When we’re dealing with problems, especially problems that are charged and triggering, our pre-frontal cortex can go offline and our survival (read: fight or flight brain) takes over.
The brain is not capable of solving complex problems when we’re in the survival fight or flight state.
That’s why we need to do what we can in order to keep the pre-frontal cortex as online as possible while we’re working on problem resolution.
One of the primary pathways in the brain between the survival brain and the higher reasoning brain is compassion.
Which is what makes the following 3-part process crucial in developing long-term, sustainable solutions to problems.
In the 12-step recovery world these steps are referred to as The 3 As:
Awareness
Acceptance and
Action
Our problem most of the time is we jump straight from awareness to action, and we completely bypass the step of acceptance, which is the bridge between the two!
When we skip the acceptance part of the problem solving process, we don’t deal with our triggers, which activate our survival brains, which is why we aren’t able to come up with effective solutions that stick.
Acceptance is the part of the process where we’re using the pathway and skill of compassion to develop a thorough understanding of the history of the problem, so that we can develop solutions that work.
A side note here: Acceptance isn’t condoning the behavior that led to a problem or the problem itself. Acceptance is about no longer rejecting the reality that the problem is what it is and the reality of what led to the problem.
The beauty of it all is, when you take the time to thoroughly understand the problem, which requires sitting in the awareness and acceptance parts of the process, the actions (or solutions) come quite quickly and naturally.
Which, as I explain in this episode, is also the reason we’ve taken the last 52 episodes of the podcast to do a lengthy history of the problem facing us today as womxn, and especially BIPOC women in leadership. From here on out, we’re going to be talking solutions, because without solutions, nothing changes.
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Apr 01, 2021
Thursday Apr 01, 2021
Have you ever wondered the best way to set your day up for success?
One of our community members asked me this question a couple of months ago, and in today’s episode, I’m sharing with you the exact steps I take to set my day up for success.
Before we talk about my actual morning routine, however, we need to talk about how it's our spiritual connection to a Power Greater than ourselves that actually sets us up for success.
In this episode we talk about spirituality, the power of morning rituals, and how connection with a Higher Power can shift your entire day. I also walk you through my exact morning routine with me.
Why does this matter to you as a woman in leadership?
It matters because we get pulled in a gazillion different directions every single day and if we aren’t connecting with a Source of Power Greater than us, we can get frazzled and fried and feel very all over the place. (Burnout anyone?)
When you connect with a Power Greater than you, you’re connected with the guidance that will help you prioritize, make decisions, and know exactly what to do and how.
As a reminder, if you would like to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, such as the Love Note that guides you through more detailed practices, then be sure to join our Fierce Authenticity Newsletter Community at www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
PS: As a heads up, we’ll be taking a break next week to allow you a chance to catch up on any episodes you missed and integrate what you’ve learned before we come back in a couple of weeks with all new episodes.
Today's episode is sponsored by:
The Sanctuary for BIPOC Women in Leadership
If you're a BIPOC womxn in leadership, and you'd like to connect with a group of others who look like you, who have similar experiences to yours, and who are tired of the bull shit (just like you) then head on over to www.bipocsanctuary.com to learn more and get on the interest list.
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Mar 25, 2021
Thursday Mar 25, 2021
The "Model Minority Myth", a phrase I learned from Ijeoma Oluo, is a tool the supremacy uses to keep BIPOC folx hating on one another. Our achievements are weaponized against one another and this becomes yet another one of the burdens we carry. We must break free from this toxic pattern and break out of this myth.
The reason I'm talking about this today is because as a leader, it's imperative for you to know about the workings of the model minority myth so that you and your organization aren't operating from this deeply ingrained erroneous belief meant as a weapon to keep people down.
Today's episode is sponsored by:
The Sanctuary for BIPOC Women in Leadership
If you're a BIPOC womxn in leadership, and you'd like to connect with a group of others who look like you, who have similar experiences to yours, and who are tired of the bull shit (just like you) then head on over to www.bipocsanctuary.com to learn more and get on the interest list.
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Mar 18, 2021
Thursday Mar 18, 2021
Today we're exploring how the bastardization of the feminine (check out previous episode, S2E5: The Fierce Feminine) lead to women being the ones carrying the heaviest burdens.
The burdens us women carry are heavy and the burdens we carry are many.
It's important to note that the burdens we carry aren't ours alone
We carry the burdens and the pain of the men that we love, our children, our families, and even our ancestors. And we carry these burdens in our DNA as we now know thanks to research on epigenetics (you can hear more on that in Episodes 3.0 Your Nervous System and 4.0 Intergenerational Trauma with Dr. B. Nilaja Green).
Tune in today to learn more.
Enjoy!
Today's episode is sponsored by:
The Sanctuary for BIPOC Women in Leadership
If you're a BIPOC womxn in leadership, and you'd like to connect with a group of others who look like you, who have similar experiences to yours, and who are tired of the bull shit (just like you) then head on over to www.bipocsanctuary.com to learn more and get on the interest list.
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Mar 11, 2021
Thursday Mar 11, 2021
Technically, this is Part 3 of the You're Powerful AF mini-series, but she's so fierce she needed her own name!
Do you ever have those days where you neglect and ignore your own needs, you don't follow your hunches, so you feel irritable and the whole day ends up being a hot mess?
Yeah, I've had those days, too...
And typically, they're the days that I haven't listened to the power and the wisdom contained within myself, my body, and my connection to a Source of Power Greater than me.
Today we look at why that is (hint: it has to do with the colonial, capitalist, white supremacist, contemptuous patriarchy) and how you can tap into the power of the fierce and Divine Feminine that has been beaten down and abused for far too long under patriarchy's rule.
Why does this matter?
Because the feminine is fierce AF... when we get back into right relationship with her. And, because as BIPOC women in leadership, if we don't give up the patriarchy's way of operating in the world, we will continue to see the same old bull sh*t of the patriarchal world.
As leaders it is our responsibility to reconnect with the fierce feminine and allow her to guide us. It's where many of our superpowers reside.
And one quick note: the Divine Feminine is a quality of energy that lives within all of us, male, female, and non-binary.
Enjoy!
Today's episode is sponsored by:
The Sanctuary for BIPOC Women in Leadership
If you're a BIPOC womxn in leadership, and you'd like to connect with a group of others who look like you, who have similar experiences to yours, and who are tired of the bull shit (just like you) then head on over to www.bipocsanctuary.com to learn more and get on the interest list.
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Mar 04, 2021
Thursday Mar 04, 2021
In this episode we're continuing the conversation we started last week about the fact that you are powerful af.
Tune in to learn how it is that we got it twisted and fell under the illusion that we are not powerful and how we can start to take our power back.
Today's episode is sponsored by:
The Sanctuary for BIPOC Women in Leadership
If you're a BIPOC womxn in leadership, and you'd like to connect with a group of others who look like you, who have similar experiences to yours, and who are tired of the bull shit (just like you) then head on over to www.bipocsanctuary.com to get on the waitlist.
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Feb 25, 2021
Thursday Feb 25, 2021
Did you know that you are powerful af?
I mean, really, truly, you are powerful.
So why is it that sometimes you don't feel that way?
Why is it that imposter syndrome can creep up on you, planting seeds of doubt, leading you to question the choices you make and therefore how powerful you are?
Because, living under the colonial, capitalist, white supremacist, contemptuous patriarchy, we're taught to shut down everything that makes us powerful — which is everything that makes us human and woman.
In this episode, which is part 1 of a mini-series on how powerful you are, we start to explore what some of that power is and how you can get it back.
Today I also make a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!
The waitlist for The Sanctuary for BIPOC Women in Leadership is officially open! This is a space for women like you and me to come together and be in community with others who understand the challenges we face AND how we can shift out of challenge into triumph.
The community is being built based on what YOUR needs are. When you join the waitlist, you'll have an opportunity to share your voice on what your biggest challenges are and what you need from The Sanctuary.
Visit www.bipocsanctuary.com to join the waitlist.
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.
Thursday Feb 18, 2021
Thursday Feb 18, 2021
What if you knew that you didn't have to show up armored up and ready to defend yourself all the time? What if you understood that you can be strong and gentle at the same time? And what if it were possible for you to find fierceness in your gentleness?
These are just some of the topics our first guest of Season 2, Krishna Avalon, and I dig into in this episode.
We also talk about being a Brown girl in an all white family, in an all white town, in an all white state, and how that impacted Krishna's identity, and what she needed to return to in order to heal from her experiences.
Krishna shares about the wisdom contained within our bodies and how breathwork is a simple and effective way to clear trauma quickly and efficiently.
Tune in to hear us dive deep into these topics and so much more.
You can connect with Krishna on her website at https://krishnaavalon.com/ and on Instagram @krishnaavalon
Links:
Join the private newsletter community to receive bonus episodes of the podcast, community only invitations for quarterly Coffee Dates, and offers on anything I create delivered straight to your inbox: www.shiranimpathak.com/connect
Find Me on Social Media:
Our hashtags are #fierceauthenticity and #showupbeseengetlove
If you're loving the episode, take a screenshot, share it on social, and tag me in your post!
Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak
For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast
Donate to the work:
*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.