Fierce Authenticity

S3E18 People Don‘t Need to be Fixed

People don't need fixing.  

Why? Because people are not broken. 

Supremacy culture has created a system of standards, what things "should" look like or “shouldn't” look like. When we're operating under that system and if we're not meeting the exact standard in the exact way it was set, we're going to feel that there's something deficient in us.  

This pattern is created by design, very specifically, to keep you thinking that there's something wrong with you, that you're not enough. Join me in today’s episode and lift the veil of supremacy to see the beauty in you and those around you.  

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• A system of standards created by supremacy culture 
• The pattern that keeps you thinking you’re not enough
• You’re Divine Love in human form
• The place of greater love
• How can we all rise together?  

 Quotes 

[00:03:25] When you don't show up to the standards, which supremacy culture has set based off oppressive, manipulative practices and tactics, you then have a tool to beat up on and oppress yourself because you think there is something deficient in you, when you are not meeting the standards that were set by that system. 

[00:10:29] When we're in that place of greater love, and when we can understand that we aren't broken, and that the people that we love, or the people in our lives, aren't broken, then we can actually invite ourselves and them into remembering who they are at their highest expression of themselves. And as each and every single one of us begins to do that little by little, we invite every single person we come across to rise with us. And then we're not being something we're not, or at least trying to be something we're not. And then we're not fixing anything, because again, we're not broken. We are simply inviting others to remember the truth of who they are - perfect, whole, and complete. 

 

Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.

S3E17 People Pleasing is Manipulation

People pleasing is a form of manipulation. 

Yes, you read that right - people pleasing is actually a form of manipulation. 

Today's episode is going to be one of those truth bomb-uncomfortable-ouch feeling type of episodes. Go ahead and brace yourself because today we’re going to talk about how people-pleasing is a form of manipulation. Join me in today’s episode and learn how you can stop engaging in people-pleasing tendencies and reclaim your authentic self.  

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• People-pleasing and codependency 

• Trauma responses in relational traumas 

• Please and appease as a form of manipulation 

• Reclaiming your authentic self  

Quotes 

[00:13:40] These were all super, super, important defenses in order to help us survive these painful and traumatic childhoods. What happens however, is that when we continue to carry these patterns into our adult lives and in our adult relationships, it can become really, really problematic. 

[00:16:10] When you're not showing up in your relationships with who you authentically are, because you are trying to get something from someone else, then you're not in an authentic connection. You're not having authentic communication; you are not engaging in authentic relationships. Instead, you're showing up the way you think others want you to be. Or you're showing up the way that you think others want you to be. 

 

Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.

S3E16 HEAL Your Heart with Sherika Chew

My guest today is Sherika Chew. Sherika is a prayer counselor, inner healing coach and transformational speaker. She's co-host of the In Between Podcast and founder of Well Ministries. She helps men and women of faith address unchecked heart wounds that have the potential to completely derail their purpose.  

Sherika is also the woman who planted the seed in my mind that the framework that I had been speaking about on the podcast, was actually a book. So, Fierce Authenticity 2.0 is happening mostly because of this amazing woman. Today, she is here to talk about finding your purpose and true joy through her H.E.A.L. method! 

 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• Why do we get off track?  
• Finding your purpose and true joy 
• Sherika’s H.E.A.L. method 
• Healing your heart wounds 
• Learning to trust ourselves and God  

 

Quotes 

[00:06:51] She and I are truly parallel in the work that we're doing in the world, and how we are helping people to really heal their hearts so that they can stay in alignment with who they are and who God wants them to be. 

[00:13:37] I really, truly believe that true joy happens when you're on the track you were designed for. So, we get discontentment because we're just not in the right place, we're just not where we're supposed to be. We're trying to make something happen. 

[00:16:08] As Brown people, we tend to feel like we need someone to tell us, just history has done that to us, you know, tell us which way to go, how to behave, how to look, how to fit into "what society is". And so, you can't fault our grandparents for the conditioning that they have, or the fear that they have when we decide we're breaking free of this. And we're just going to explore who we are and how we feel. 

[00:29:58] All bodies of culture experience this fear of” what’s going to happen.” And so, it's not just contained to our home, it happens out there too. I know for me it has been leaning into and knowing that God did not create all the awful things that happen here. God did not create these systems and these structures, God did not create this fear, that is not of God, because to me - God is unconditional love. 

[00:33:50] That bitterness comes from something, there's a root there. And when we're dealing with our heart wounds, if we find the fruit it will trace ourselves back to the root of that. And we can stop that fruit from growing, we can stop that bitterness from cycling over and over and passing down to our children and be free from that. 

[00:55:41] But I've learned that I have to forgive myself for yesterday's me, the things I did with the tools I had, and the understanding that I had. I have to let go and grow into what God is calling me to do, and to be able to walk that track that it was designed for me. 

 

Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.

S3E15 An Alternative to New Year’s Resolutions

If you'd like a different alternative to New Year's resolutions, then this episode is for you. 

Welcome to the final part of our three-part mini-series on how to get through the holidays, Fierce Authenticity style. Today’s episode is all about those New Year's resolutions aka additional lies that supremacy culture teaches you.  

New Year - New You…ugh, that just irks me.  

Most of us don’t get beyond the first 60 to 90 days of these “New Year's resolutions.” And here's why - because those are some of the additional lies that supremacy culture teaches you to keep you further oppressed. So, join me in today’s episode and start the new year as authentically yourself. 

In today’s episode, we cover:

• Here’s why New Year - New You doesn’t work  
• You need to want It for yourself
• How to take back your power
• Being authentically yourself 

Quotes 

[00:06:47] It wasn't until, of course, years after I quit doing the whole New Year's resolutions thing that I realized, and it clicked and it dawned upon me: “Oh, my gosh, this is because it's another way for me to beat up on myself, and feel bad about myself, and be little and berate myself, to judge myself and criticize myself, to compare myself with others.” That's all it was. 

[00:08:18] You have to actually, intrinsically, inside of yourself, believe that whatever it is that you want to experience, you want to experience it for you. Not because someone outside of you told you how you had to look, behave, what your house should look like. 

 

Links:
To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.

S3E14 How to Have Good Boundaries During the Holidays

This holiday season, let’s talk about boundaries! 

Welcome to part two of our three-part mini-series on how to get through the holidays in a different way this year. Today, we're talking about boundaries.  

One of the biggest misconceptions that we have when it comes to boundaries is that boundaries are for other people. We create our boundaries; we communicate them with other people and then we get upset when they do not adhere to our boundaries. Do you know what that is? That’s participating in supremacy culture’s behavior of control. So, join me in today’s episode and learn how to break free while staying in alignment with your fierce truth! 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• Your boundaries are for you 
• Clear is kind; Control is unkind 
• What is and is not acceptable to you from you 
• Judgment and compassion can coexist
• Catch yourself before it’s too late  

Quotes 

[00:03:24] If you are trying to set boundaries and hoping that other people will follow through with them and then getting resentful when they don't, do you know what you're doing? You're actually participating in supremacy culture’s sneaky behavior of control. That is what you're doing; you are trying to control another person and how they engage with you. You're trying to tell another person who to be in order to be in a relationship with you. And when you do that, you are putting yourself in a position of superiority, the other person in a position of inferiority. You are elevating yourself to the status of some holier than thou type and you are dehumanizing the person that you are in a relationship with.  

[00:06:20] Clear is kind. It is kind for you to be clear with yourself about what your boundaries and your parameters are when you are considering how you're going to do the holidays. It's kind to be clear with yourself what you will and will not accept when it comes to this season. Even if that what you will and will not accept relates to what you will and will not accept from yourself. And it is also kind for you to very clearly communicate what it is that you need to others and then let go of any expectations or any outcomes, because when you hold on to expectations and outcomes you fall into the behavior of “control is unkind”. So, remember that - clear is kind; control is unkind. Especially when we are directing it outwards towards another person or another outcome or something outside of us, because the reality is we are not God and we're not in control of other people, places and things around us. We are not in control of how other people choose to show up. 

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.

S3E13 How to Prevent Holiday Overwhelm

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! But, is it really? 

The holiday season, allegedly the most wonderful time of the year, may not be so wonderful for many of us. Because we've been conditioned under systems of supremacy culture and capitalism, for many of us this is the time to rush, to hustle and to do for others at our own expense. 

Today’s episode is the beginning of a three-part miniseries that will help you get through the holidays in a way that goes counter to supremacy and allows you to experience this time as a time of true love, connection, intimacy and authenticity in all of your relationships! 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• The importance of slowing down 
• Giving yourself and others the gift of presence 
• Deep presence, deep connection and true intimacy 

 Quotes 

[00:05:52] Because this is the time of year where we are sold every single lie and piece of BS about how we need these outside material possessions, that are really only fleeting and temporary, by the way...but how we need these external things in order for us to be happy, in order for our loved ones to feel loved, in order for everyone to feel appreciated and that they matter.  

[00:10:54] I want you to think about what might happen if you were to allow yourself to follow what nature's rhythm was. What if you were to give yourself permission to slow down, to be more internally focused, to turn towards Self to see what you need or what your heart wants to share with your loved ones as opposed to what corporate, and big business, and consumerism and capitalism tell you that you need. 

[00:16:20] When you slow down, when you connect with yourself, when you come into alignment with you, with the Divine Source of something greater than you, when you look to nature for your cues and when you move from there, that's where you'll make your greatest impact on your loved ones. And I guarantee you it is not going to be because you got them the latest iPhone, or the latest gadget, or the latest whatever and especially not if you did it from the energy of hustle and chaos and franticness and scarcity and lack.

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.

  

S3E12 How to Prioritize Your Relationships

If your relationships are not prioritized in the order of Source, self, spouse, then others, then this episode is for you. 

We place so many burdens on our relationships. We put people in roles where they don't belong and we put ourselves into roles where we don't belong. We do this because supremacy culture has disconnected us from who we are and from who our divine source is. Join me today’s episode to learn a new way to prioritize your relationships! 

 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• The order of relationships  
• We cannot give from an empty cup 
• The transactional nature in our relationships 
• The shift:  Getting your guidance from a Divine Source.  

 

Quotes 

[00:09:30] Most of us, especially as high achieving badass, powerful change-making women put ourselves last on the list, if we're even on the list. And a lot of times - source, what's that? And we put everyone else before us. And when we do that we get burnt out, stressed out and overwhelmed. And quite frankly that's also when you start to feel really raggedy and torn down and you look in the mirror and there's bags under your eyes and all that other good stuff. That's what happens when you've got the order of relationships out of order.  

[00:14:02] One of the biggest challenges that we see, especially in romantic partnerships, is that we try to make our significant other our everything. And so they need to be our partner, our spouse, our best friend or lover, our handyman or plumber. I mean, they need to be our everything. And that's too much of a burden to place on one person. And quite frankly, it's really not fair. And that's not their role. That's not their job. And yet, when you're putting them or others before yourself and God and anyone else, then what's going to happen is you're going to try to get something from them. That's the transactional nature that we often experience in our relationships. 

[00:15:37] I know and you know, and your spouse knows that y'all didn't get married just to live like roommates. You got married to share this heart-centered connection, this heart-based connection with another person. But guess what? It's gonna be really hard for you to have that heart-centered connection with someone else if you're constantly trying to get something from them, that you ought to be getting from your Divine Higher Power instead. 

 

Links:

To connect with us on the complimentary private newsletter community, be sure to visit www.shiranimpathak.com/connect

Instagram: @shiranimpathak
Facebook: @ShiraniMPathak

For a transcript of this episode visit www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

Donate to the work:

Shirani on PayPal

*Some links may be affiliate links. I may earn a small commission. It won't cost you anything extra, but it supports the podcast.

S3E11 Human Design with Christina De Los Angeles

Lately, we've been exploring how systems of supremacy and oppression teach us that we have to be either authentic or attached, when in reality - you can be both.

In today’s episode, Shirani is joined by Christina De Los Angeles, a marriage and family therapist, Human Design enthusiast and relationship coach, to talk about the beauty of Human Design as a way to understand and as a way to connect, not just with our own authenticity, but also in relationships with others. 

 

In today’s episode, we cover: 

• What is Human Design? 

• Breaking down your Human Design Graph 

• How you understand your Human Design Type

• The importance of your Centers, Strategy and Authority 

 

Quotes 

[00:27:30] This is what makes up our ecosystem and what keeps it balanced. Between the initiators and the visionaries and the leaders and the doers and the ones who are taking the barometer of what's happening in the community or in the world...when I put it that way, it just feels like actually it’s going back to ancient cultures and the wisdom that communities had before colonization. Because every member of the community really did have their role and their part. 

[00:28:23] This is really honoring everyone's role in this whole. And it's not about who is more compatible. We have the opportunity to be compatible with each and every one if we're willing to see each other with different eyes and see each other for who we really are and who they really are. 

[00:40:37] I'm always just filled with a lot of gratitude for those that I'm able to work with, Whether it's couples or individuals that I'm doing Human Design reading for, because truly I've learned so much from them. And it's a continual, just divine reminder of how unique we are and also it gives this reminder of having this perspective of expansion too. That's one thing I felt - Human Design is not constricting. In fact, every part of the Human Design can be experienced in a million different ways.

 

Links:

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Instagram: @shiranimpathak
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For a transcript of this episode visit  www.shiranimpathak.com/podcast

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*Some of the links used may be affiliate links. It will cost you nothing extra to use my links, but I may earn a commission if you use one of my links. This is one way to financially support the podcast.